But I still had not received a call from the surgery department to confirm the port placement surgery that we had agreed with the surgeon on the phone yesterday. Had to make another phone call to the office manager which promptly called me back after scheduling the procedure. Tracking my treatment turned out to be a full time job.
So now here is the plan:
Thursday 2 PM outpatient surgery to place the port in.
Friday 12 pm appointment with oncologist where I will be signing the consent forms that will allow them to poison ehem treat me.
Friday 2 pm first chemo session. The first one is supposed to be 3 hours cause they will test my reaction, then the subsequent ones are said to be 1.5 hours long. Good time to read the Kite Runner, we have our book club meeting next friday and I did not even start it yet ! But they asked me to take several antinauseau medications which might make me dose off.
I will be cancelling my appointments with Group #2( the oncologist and the radiation oncologist). I am not superstitious but looking back into the history of trying to go with Group#2 was just interesting.
After first diagnosis, I attempted to secure an appointment with the Group#2 surgeon, the breast care coordinator who was following up with me had to take off for a week for a personal emergency. thus I went with group#1 .
I was still determined to work with group#2, so got an appointment with their oncologist after my surgery.. which retired after my 2nd visit without being able to even start working with her.
Still adamant in Group#2 got an appointment with my second choice in that group.. but just before I saw him I got everything scheduled by Group#1.
Even for a hardheaded person like me all these were too many consequences, so I am staying with Group#1 sometimes it does not turn out to be wise to try to go against the current.
One part of me felt relieved that things are finally moving and I am finally starting the second stage of my event. But one other side of me had the funny feeling telling me to run like hell ! To Alaska or Australia... somewhere far away where the cancer can not follow me.. stupid I know (probably I am going through another 'denial' stage') but the urge was loud and clear for me to hear which I accepted and let go since these feelings are very normal and it is healthy for me to feel and live them and then let them go.
I had to remind myself several times today that starting the chemo should not be a big deal and I should actually be excited about it and get prepared mentally to help the toxins kill any sneaky cancer cells that might have strayed away before the mother ship itself was evacuated with blunt force.
At noon my sisterinlaw treated me again to a wonderful lunch at Fifi's Patisserie.. the nicoise salad was delicious but the peach cobbler was just out of this earth !I am told not to eat salad in restaurants once I start chemo.. so enjoyed this one. The company was excellent had a really good time and she had to remind me that I had to be at my Muga scan at 1:30.. nah I said.. there is no point to rush and I have been in too many doc/lab appointments that I knew that they usually wanted you in half an hour before they actually need you.
The restaurant was chic. There was this lady that I could not help but stare at who I first suspected as going through chemo she had such fake big black hair and pretty heavy makeup on an ashen skin. Nowadays my biggest peeve is to look at people and figure out who has real boobs or fake ones and now who is wearing a wig and if they are . do they have eyelashes eyebrows ? Well luckily I did not go as far as Geralyn Lucas ( author of why I wore lipstick to my mastectomy) and go to a strip bar before my mastectomy.
Made it to the Muga scan at 1:30, the plan is to draw 3 oz of my blood, taint it with radioactive stuff and inject it back to me.. Then a scan machine will scan my hearts activity using gamma ? rays.This procedure will be repeated during my chemo treatment to see how my heart muscle is effected with the chome. Well they took 2, 5 minute shots from right and left, I observed my heart rate which has been slightly higher than usual since the surgery, I am not sure why. I asked to look at the pictures/views taken ( I always like to see what is going on and ask as much questions that I can ask making sure that I am not distracting the medics from their jobs). Then I saw my nice stong heart pumping away and a hole in the middle of it ??? WHATTT IS THAT HOLE ? I said, they go : hmm.. we do not know but it is not in your heart for sure. So they searched me for any metal objects, they wiped the lense of the big disk that was hovering over me doing the reading. Took the shots again.. nahh.. the black hole was still there kind of snickering at us from the monitor saying ' ok lets see who is going to figure out what I am ?'
So they decided to move me to another room to another machine thinking clearly that there is a problem with the machine.. then I went ' wait a sec ! I know that is !! It ismy expanders valve !!!' they go 'huh.. what is an expander' . So I explained that I had temporary whoopie cushions under my chest muscles which would gradually be inflated into DD ( nah not happening ! ) and they would be detecting the place to inflate them with a detector and the holes were actually the sections of the expanders from which they would be inflated from. But the techs did not listen to me and took another view from that machine. Then they went to the radiation doc with both views who apparently went ' ah.. expanders' well duhhh !!
Just as I was leaving the center I received a call from Meral, the personal trainer who is also a survivor that I had been talking to after my diagnosis. I had called her earlier today to let her know that I had not disappeared from the face of earth and was planning to work with her as soon as I can figure out how this chemo will affect me. She really took the time to talk with me ( as she did last time) and kindly explained that even if my body was strong as an ox ( which I thought it was ) chemo affected people differently and I should just go ahead and listen to my body but should definitely do some light cardio. She gave another advice which I found quite funny since I had not told her that I was almost drilling holes on my laptops ' G O O G L E' keys lol... ' And do not read too much , stop reading leave your treatment up to your docs and you listen and take care of your body' She has had all of her lymph nodes removed and has been able to workout without lymphedema,. I definitely want to start working out with her as soon as things settle down she is the best person who would be able to help ramp back up again and keep me in a decent state during chemo. It is so cool that I was able to hook up with her, I owe this connection to Tosha ! ( from the bobbies)
I emailed the aerobics coordinator at the gym where I was teaching indoor cycling and told her that in 2 weeks I would be able to help out subbing for the aqua aerobics class when they need a sub for it. Figured I should have energy to at least do that !
After doing my usual downtown tom tom dance ( due to numerous detours to 408 went in circles) I was able to exit downtown and go to Imperial Wigs where I met with Nuge and Zeren for wig shopping. We decided on 2 wigs, one that resembles my present hair, the other was similar to Julia Roberts wig in pretty woman, like a darker strawberry blonde.. thats my kinky one. Then !!! my friend Zeren who never ceases to suprise me dragged a box to her living room and took out several really cute hats with hairpieces ! Boy my head wardrobe is definitely surpassing my wardrobe will have a tough time pulling off wearing all these cool contraptions.
Which brings me to the next question. When to cut the hair off really short and donate to Locks of Love. Maybe wednesday maybe friday... or should I hold on a bit more to my long hair ? I have not had short hair since at least 7-8 years ago will be a refreshing but weird feeling for sure.
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