Feeling close to normal again

Activities:

Monday: recumberant bike at the gym 30 minutes 5 miles at level 1 heart rate around 120's oh boy did I get weak. It felt a bit better after the first 10 minutes but I did feel kind of tired !

Tuesday: Cranking the intensity up a notch rpm up to 75+ 40 minutes on the recumbarant bike around 8 miles still level 1 but heart rate has started coming down to the 110's and I felt a lot better and even considered taking the bike down tomorrow to do a short outdoor ride. ( nahh can't and should not do it I know)

I ordered a Polar F6 heart rate monitor to keep the intensity level of workouts under control.

As they say just as one starts recovering from surgery the chemo truck will hit and you are down again.. sigh ! :o( So I will enjoy wednesday and thursdays gym workouts before I get the infusion Thursday afternoon.

The surgery incision sites healing rate increased this week, the healing seems to come in spurts.. 1 week stagnant the next week fast. Or maybe starting working out and sleeping is helping ? do not know.

After being almost 1 month off from work I finally am able to break the habit of logging on every morning at 8:30 and have started sleeping in. ( ehem I did add xanax to my nightly routine that was only Paxil up to now) I found out that if I do not sleep well I look at the world from a pretty paranoid dark lense, not exactly what I need nowadays.

My fight with getting the disability papers signed by the doctors is still continuing my paycheck stopped as of past monday yikes ! I hope they will do some kind of a cathcup once I can get the paperwork that they need. I was so surprised when the receptionist at the doctors office said ' you really have to be your own advocate there are so many patients that we can not keep track of all' geesh !! I knew that was the case but found it sad that they themselves even admit this.

Yesterday we went to Track Shack to get running shoes for my friend Zeren she will be training to do the Jacksonville Half Marathon in February too ! Then went to Lola's Sandwich shop to eat rich ( definitely sinful) sandwiches with Sibel and Zeren. Pompei's last days I thought to myself, come thursday.. pump the AC in my veins I probably will not be able to down that kind of greasy stuff for a while at least.

Monday was not a good day mentally I was really down.. then I realized that it was simply PMS ( phewww I thought.. for a while I thought I was going into depression or something)

Tuesday after the gym did my chemo sh0pping from a list of items that I will need that I learned from an internet forum:

Different juices - Carnberry, apple, white grape
Gatorade
Jello
Senocot
Imodium
Biotene toothpaste
Systane eye drops ( I have dry eyes already)
Niaxin shampoo and hair treatment
Aveeno lotion with no fragrance
saltines
fruit juice popsicles
lemon drops - someone suggested to suck on them during infusion ?
pepto bismol

I had an appointment with my counselor Katherine who has been helping me deal with this ( I later realized that I was talking a bit too much and maybe not letting her help me.. ) but today is one of those days where I have a severe case of mouth diarrhea. As always she accomodated me.. letting me get it all out of my system without feeling any guilt/responsibility for my words ;o) Sometimes we work on specific issues that I want help with or sometimes we just go with the flow.

Then on my way back I decided to do a short detour and stop at my old coach Dominick's Hells Gym (lol) since I knew that there would be a session going on at that time and Zeren and my sisinlaw could be there. They were not there but it was nice to see Dominick again. I really missed working out there intensely. I wonder when I will be able to work up to that intensity. Starting going to the gym in the mornings even though I am only doing the stationary bike is stirring the obsessive training animal inside me.. I think this is good if I can direct that beast to help with chemo cocktail to fry any C cells.

Got a halter leash for Candy ( we should have named her tugboat ! she pulls so much I sometimes feel like I am monoskiing on the grass) I need to find a contraption so she can not pull since I am not supposed to stress either arm that much for at least 3 more weeks.

Tuesday night the moon was beautiful so I tried to settle in my corner on the patio where I have the 'feast of 5 senses' but had to settle for 4.
1 - Touch - petting Candy
2 - Sight - Moon reflection on the pond
3 - Sound - Delerium's Chimera album
4 - Taste - Asti wine.

Now the 5th was unfortunately missing which was the only sense missing smell - we have gardenia bush and a night blooming jasmine bush none were blooming .. oh well 4 is better than nothing right ?

Colored my hair probably for the last time for a while won't miss that hassle for sure !