Well to say the least I have been kind of 'antsy' about todays appointment with my surgeon Dr. Danelle Chambers since I was going to get the results of the bilateral breast mri. The beast will be revealed with more detail with MRI.
Went to breakfast with Fred and he did his best to calm me down/ground me. ( and I admit he does a hell of a job in calming me down despite being on Paxil I was all over the place mumbling not making much sense definitely showing signs of ADD ) As I told to the receptionist Carmen at the MD Anderson Breast Care center he is my security blankie don't know how I would have gone through this crap without him.
In the dressing room I had a 'locker number' episode. I put my stuff in a locker then saw it was #13.hmmm.. so I changed it to 9, then settled on 7 because I thought it was a prettier number. During this time another patient was staring at me wondering wth I was up to, while I was shuffling my stuff from locker to locker mumbling to myself about pretty/ugly numbers.
Dr. Chambers gave some news which I took as very good news ( well from now on you know which locker I will take ! ) . The lesion in mri is smaller than what the mammo showed and no other anomalies were detected. phewww ! ( I somehow am thinking that I actually might have something to do with it appearing smaller, I have been taking the supplements and have been doing alots of powerful creative visualizations to heal myself)
She also said that if I choose to do so I could get away with a lumpectomy but then I would need radiation and there was a 30% chance of the C returning to the other breast. ( is there such a thing as 'sympathy' C ??? ) After rethinking for a short time.. we said lets go ahead with the double Mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. I felt kind of bad for the other side cause obviously it did a good job in protecting itself from C, but it still has to suffer due to the other ones inability to do so. Oh well.. that is life I guess there is a saying in Turkish ' The wet one also burns if it is near the dry one '
I just could not imagine brooding about what was brewing in it for the rest of my life.
I was advised by the Breast care coordinator that I would need to stop taking all herbal supplements 14 days before the surgery due to possible complications with anesthesia, there goes my plan to fight this off before the surgery using herbs.
I really like MD Anderson but I have some concerns about Dr. 's treatment approaches to lifestyles and complementary medicine. I got some feedback that Dr. Moroose might be more in synch with my lifestyle/mental approach to healing but I do like MD Anderson better than FL Hospital.
Of course my priority is LIFE !! then Lifestyle but still I would like to have an oncologist who understands me as a person, my needs, and understands what makes me 'tick'. IMHO the medicines will only work if the patient is willing to accept the treatment mentally and can actively participate in the recovery process in his/her own ways. I wonder if any of the other oncologists might suit me better at MD Anderson.
The Breast Care Coordinator said that she was going to send me some brochures about a Mind-Body- Spirit group that I might be interested in. There are so many resources that will help me with my battle I am having a hard time even sifting through them.
Requested to talk to Dr. and 2 hours later her secretary Linda called asking about the nature of my request. When I explained it she said that it would be better if I could make an appointment and talk to her face to face. I have an appointment with her on the 30th of August one day before my surgery.. and yes my surgery date is set as August 31'st with Dr. Chambers and Dr. Pope. Hopefully I will be able to 'click' with her in this meeting.
After having coffee with M who met me at the hospital cafeteria I went and got injected with some radioactive stuff. ( nothing heavy duty like Petscan) and was advised to drink lots of water for the next 3 hours.
Then I went and had a wonderful lunch with a 5 wonderful bobbies, the youngest one being Lauren Emily who had the best attitude I ever saw in a 9 month old !!! I had a really great time chatting along. I might even try to tag along for another ride this weekend. ( do not know yet )
The Bone scan was another donut but I did not go through it. I had to lay on the table facing up with my feet secured together with what looked like a large broccoli rubber band ( the donut at my feet ) they slid a panel ( I think it was about 3' X 4 ') so low that it almost was brushing my nose. And it started from my head and very slowly went down scanning all my bones. No noise, just humming and I actually had a hard time staying awake since I was not supposed to move at all and I could twitch if I fell asleep. I think it took about 20 minutes. There was a picture on the ceiling that drove me nuts, since it was hung backwards I saw it upside down the whole time.
At the end I saw my skeleton on the monitor with a huggeee eliminated area near the pelvis I freaked out asking ' WHAT IS THAT LIGHT BULB ON MY BODY' .. the tech laughed.. oh that is your bladder. I did not see any other illuminated areas.
He told me to wait on the table in case the Doctor would ask for additional images after reviewing. So I waited on the table holding my breath praying that they would not ask for additional images.. cause I know by now that if they want to look at something in detail.. THAT AIN"T GOOD !!!
But to my relief .. he came back saying I was good to go, and it looked good ! WOHOOOO !! I take that as a clear bone scan.
Now since I was all pumped up, thought it would be a pity to waste all this adrenaline and went to the gym to do weights.
Hmm.. now where did all the symptoms that I was feeling yesterday, this morning go.. quite interesting that I feel terrific now ready to make use of the 2 weeks + 2 days before the surgery to get stronger mentally and physically !
As of now I am kind of off from all the medical stuff until Monday then I have a pelvic ultrasound and tuesday I will have the iron-infusion. YEY !! back to normal at least for 4 days.
Life is GOOD !
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